Are you listening Lord?
Just before I called it quits for the day, I was lying on my bed with my eyes on the ceiling when I suddenly had an awareness of someone else in the room.
Then I heard a voice ask, “What bothers you?”
I heard the voice yet not a single sound echoed in the room – yet to all intent and purposes I did hear the voice.
I do not know why, but I said out loud, “Lord, can I ask you a question.”
And the reply, “Ask away.”
So I said “Lord, will I ever get married.”
“Son, there are Pauls and there are Peters; Stephens and Judases. If I say yes, you will ask to whom. If I tell you, you will want to know what she is like. If I describe her, you will ask when. If I tell you, you will want to know how. If I say how, you will want a phone number. Then you will call her and tell her I said so. While there is nothing wrong in that, you would have destroyed your chance at growth; the joy of discovery.
“Lord, will I be rich”
“What is your definition of rich? Rich enough to live comfortably? Rich enough to buy anything – knowing fully well that the destruction of man starts with his endless wants. If I say no, you will lose all faith in life and probably me. You will become a walking brooding shell of a man, and watch life go past you – a self-fulfilling prophesy.
“Will I live long”
“If I say yes, you will want to know how long. Then you will sit down and start estimating how much of your life you can afford to live without me. Then when the time comes, between you and the Devil, you will most likely end of with him. Besides, it is not how long but how well. Stephen didn’t spend as much time as I did on earth, yet he was one of the first to behold heaven on earth.”
“Lord, will you always be there for me?”
“No I won’t – not in the way you want. You are all grown up now with decisions to make. You must learn to depend on people and be there for others. But once you have done as much as you can, I will always do the rest. So if it appears I am not listening, there is no need to shout (even your whispers and thoughts are as crashing cymbals in heaven). There just may be something you still need to do.
“Lord, will I wake up tomorrow.”
“Say your prayers; make peace with God. That way, whether you live or die, it matters little.”
“Goodnight son. Have a good night’s rest. And if things go bump in the dark, keep thy peace for I am near.”
24/10/2005 (found this today while cleaning out some old docs in my room. Had no title)